She ate her dinner.
She worked up a sweat in the gym.
She took a bath.
The sun had set long ago.
She wanted to see the stars for a bit, invite Lak…go outside alone to look for a spot where she could easily gaze at the sky. She searched fruitlessly for a good location until climbing up a tall tree and stretching out atop it. Although it’d been a long time since she’d last climbed a tree, she still remembered perfectly well how to do it.
…In doing so, Tiat finally wrapped her head around recent events and processed the news that Feodor had been arrested for treason.
“What the heck.” Tiat glared at the stars above, as if expecting them to answer. “What the heck, what the heck, what the heck…”
She was totally clueless.
We talked about this and that, we knew a bit about each other’s circumstances… Then just as I feel like I’m starting to understand that guy a little, he goes and does this?!
She felt like the image of Feodor just beginning to take shape in her head had suddenly sprouted wings, scales, and fangs, then flew away into the sky cackling evilly. She was left behind in the aftermath, stupidly looking up at the sky with her mouth wide open.
“What the heck, what the heck, what the heck, what the heck?!” She furiously grabbed and tore apart nearby leaves, flinging them everywhere. It didn’t make her happy, but she couldn’t calm down without doing something.
“Just what the heck is going on, geez?!” Tiat screamed, angrily crushing a branch as thick as her arm was wide and hurling it at the ground.
After her tantrum—no, rampage—was over, she did feel a little calmer after all. Apologizing to the various leaves and branches she’d destroyed, Tiat jumped down from the tree.
…They said he was in solitary confinement, didn’t they?
Rubbing her forehead, Tiat tried to remember the Winged Guard’s military regulations. She didn’t know the specific circumstances of Feodor’s arrest, but it probably wouldn’t be a case where she’d be easily allowed to visit him. At the very least, for the next few days it’d definitely be impossible to bombard him with questions until she knew everything she needed to…
Argh. I’m already getting mad again.
When Tiat got angry, she also got thirsty. She took a breath, thinking about her plans for the future.
Although the turmoil in her heart had subsided, it wasn’t completely gone, and her own circumstances hadn’t changed either. Croyance continued to approach through the sky, and Feodor, that idiot, was stuck in a cell. The situation of the faeries, who required the supervision of a ranked officer, hung in the balance. However, there wasn’t anything she could do about any of it right now, and the things she could do were so limited that it was already making her sad.
So yes, she would go get something to drink.
If Tiat was an ordinary soldier, she would probably have gone straight for alcohol. Even at this time of night, when the mess hall was long closed, the store remained open. Their basic product lineup was poor, with the shelves boasting only rock-hard jerky and slightly moldy hardtack. On the other hand, the cheap booze on the next shelf over, prized by many soldiers, was said to be “Eh, good enough.”
That aside, Tiat didn’t drink alcohol. She had been strongly warned away from it ever since she tried the kitchen brandy out of curiosity when she was young and promptly fell in love with it.
…Just remembering it is making the headache come back…
Shaking off the memory, Tiat decided to go to the mess hall after all. Even if she couldn’t get anything to eat, she’d probably still be able to get some water if she asked the old woman running it.
Just as Tiat arrived at the mess hall and was about to call out to the old woman in the back room, she heard a familiar voice.
“So the contents of the box are safe?”
Her entire body froze, a faint gasp leaving her mouth.
“Yup. It’s so clean we could decorate it and carry it through the festival right now.”
“Well… Alright, I guess it’s fine.”
Tiat cautiously peeked into the mess hall. It was silent and gloomy, with no sign of the old woman or other workers who would normally be cleaning up at this time. In the middle of the dark hall, the pair she recognized were having a serious conversation as they luxuriously sat at a table with room for ten people.
“You can take a look with your own eyes if you’d like. I can give you permission to go in right now.”
“Hmm… Nah, better not. If I see that face now, I might just start crying.”
Ithea and the First Officer…?
Even though she shouldn’t have needed to, Tiat slunk back into the shadows and hid herself.
It seemed as if the conversation had just ended. The First Officer gently nodded with a murmured “I see,” and stood from his chair, walking off right in her direction.
“Ah…”
“Hm?”
Their eyes met.
“Um, you see… I wasn’t snooping, or rather I didn’t mean to snoop in particular…”
“Good grief. That guy’s precious daughters just had to all be difficult, didn’t they?” The armado shook his head and walked past Tiat, lightly patting her on the shoulder as he left.
The mess hall didn’t use ordinary well-water. The drinking water they offered was soaked in a pot with insect-repelling herbs, which added a pleasantly refreshing aftertaste. I shouldn’t expect much from the flavor of the food here, but this water tastes so great it’s practically flawless, Tiat thought to herself.
With a large gulp, she drained her cup in one swallow.
“Your worries are all over your face, ya know.”
“…Yeah, guess so.” She had a feeling it would be. “It’s just…there’s a ton of things going on that I don’t get.”
After having caught word that Feodor had done something incredibly stupid, Tiat had started thinking that there was so much she couldn’t make sense of. She did hear the reason he’d tried to betray the military had something to do with the unforgivable, wicked story of Elpis.
More than that, he surely must have done it for the futures of Tiat and her comrades. No matter how much of a liar and scoundrel she knew him to be, Tiat knew that at the very least was the undeniable truth.
“How do I put it? I…I don’t know what to do. The way forward isn’t appearing to me at all.”
“Oh…?” Ithea made an expression like she’d figured out something. “You’ve changed.”
“Huh?”
“Normally you’d have said something like, ‘If it was Chtholly, then she definitely would’ve done this and that,’ or something to that effect. Now you aren’t.”
…Ah, now that she mentions it… It was true that until a short while ago, that’d been a sentence Tiat said often.
“I still feel like saying it now. If Chtholly was here, she definitely wouldn’t feel lost, and she’d do something totally cool to solve all of her problems—”
“If she was here, she’d have been just as lost as you’re feeling right now.”
“…Eh?”
Ithea Myse Valgulious smiled a little sadly. Five years ago, she had been the best friend of Chtholly Nota Seniorious—Tiat’s admired senior. “That part of you is so like her. You and that girl, the both of you…”
“Oh, no, no, not at all!”
That can’t be true, no matter how many times you say it, Tiat thought. “I’m happy about your words, but aren’t you elevating me a bit too much? Rather, maybe you should be apologizing to her for lumping her in with me—?”
“That girl!” Ithea’s suddenly sharp voice shoved the rest of Tiat’s sentence back down her throat.
The older faerie sighed. “…Y’see, Chtholly was a normal girl. Yeah, sure, she had a bit more sense of responsibility than other people, she could be more serious than she really needed to be, and she was a big show-off, but…”
Tiat’s breath hitched in her throat. “W-what are you saying?”
“Yeah, now’s probably a good time to get into it.” Ithea sighed and scratched the back of her head. “So, Chtholly might’ve been kinda talented at hand-to-hand combat, but otherwise she was no different than any other girl. She was a crybaby, fainthearted, always so close to being crushed by the weight of the responsibility that only she could shoulder…and she was especially all over the place when it came to her first love. Poor girl was a nervous wreck!”
Tiat’s mouth was hanging wide-open in shock. Ithea measured the size of it with her hands and nodded appreciatively. “Despite all her flaws, she kept picking herself up and doing her best to act strong since there were little girls who always kept on admiring her. She refused to seem uncool in front of you girls, so she carried herself with grace as much as she could.”
“…No way…”
“Say, d’you know who’s the most “admired” senior to Almita and the others back home?”
Why’s she asking me? Tiat thought about it. The faerie which the children at the warehouse admired most. That was obvious. She’d have to be the one stronger than anyone, kinder than anyone, chosen by the most powerful dug weapon. It could only be—
“Nope, not Lakhesh.”
Her rock-solid certainty was smashed to pieces.
“It’s the one who does her best, the coolest one, the one who makes them feel most strongly that ‘I want to be like her one day.’ Lakhesh came close, of course, but she’s not number one.”
Tiat opened and closed her mouth rapidly. She couldn’t muster up any response.
“…Geez.” Ithea shook her head. “You really are just like Chtholly. You keep worrying about everything else around you, even though you’re barely holding it together. You’re annoying because you refuse to listen to people once you’ve decided something, and you’re crazy about a guy who’s as troublesome as it gets and then some.”
Hey, wait a second, just wait. There was a lot Tiat wanted to say, too many words that wouldn’t come out, but she especially disagreed with the last sentence.
“You don’t have to keep asking ‘If it was Chtholly…” anymore,” Ithea said gently. “That girl was wonderful, to be certain. But you, as you are right now, are wonderful enough that you won’t lose to her.”
“…Augh…” Tiat dropped her head down.
She had wanted to be like Chtholly. She couldn’t become Chtholly. So she gave up.
She’d totally strayed away from her ideal, revealed all sorts of bad sides, been unable to accept the regrets she had. Yet, despite the fact that she didn’t even know herself anymore… Why did Ithea have to go and say such things at a time like this?
Even though she was told that she was wonderful enough, the supposedly “wonderful” Tiat Siba Ignareo was still clueless as to what she should do.
“You should look for that as much as you want to. Maybe that’s what living really means.”
“Geez. Why did I need to remember that guy’s words now?”
She slowly clenched her fists tightly.
I, who couldn’t be like Chtholly… What or who will I be like from here on?
Tiat was still lost.
In other words, she was in a position to be lost.
That meant she could make choices and decisions for herself.
…At that time back then, Feodor had gotten in the way of her death. She was still alive now because of that.
“Um…um…Ithea, please listen to me. The truth is—”
There was a lot she wanted to say. However, at the exact moment she leaned forward and steeled herself to speak, jarring chimes blared in her ears.
“Wha—Whoa?!” The surprisingly loud noise rattled her head as Tiat swiveled it in all directions.
“The signal bell?” Ithea murmured curiously.
The discordant chimes rang incessantly from somewhere outside the mess hall. Its rhythm shaped the news to be broadcast to the entire base. This time it was a repetition of four and two beats, which would mean…
“There’s a dangerous person on the premises. Be on watch for any suspicious characters?”
Tiat clutched her head with both hands miserably. There’s no mistaking it. It’s him. It’s something he’s involved with, at any rate.
“Jeez! I really, really, really hate that moron!” With a bang, she stood up and kicked her chair away.
“Hang on, weren’t you about to tell me something?”
“Sorry, I’m postponing it! Urgent business!”
Right away, Ithea’s trademark wicked grin appeared. “Can’t leave him alone, eh?”
“That’s kinda true! But there’s a ton of details I need to correct you about!”
Having said that, Tiat ran off.